Family golf. They always come back.

I’m sure people reading this are all over the place with how many kids they have. Some have one and can’t imagine two. Some have five and think three is easy.

At this point no one is reading this. We’ll get there though.

We have three. It’s tough to give them all the attention they need. I’ll say it: it’s wild. The first one is easy to give everything to, on the down low. Friends and I talk about it. We all like the firstborn the most, for whatever reason.

Then they get older. You turn into a vet about what matters and what doesn’t. You also realize the oldest is better at things because you thought all of it mattered. At some point the others need more of you. The youngest learn by watching. They become the athletes sometimes.

Holiday weekend we all went as a family. I took the three to the course. My wife had to run errands and waste our money on whatever it is that gets purchased at Target. Sorry, moms.

Wow. It’s an adventure with three kids trying to practice at a private club. The beauty is you know everyone there, and they know you and your kids. That does make it easier. Especially with the different practice options at the two clubs we’re at. One is definitely better than the other when it comes to pure practice.

Does practice even really matter? For the littlest golfers it does. Just hitting the ball, you get better. As you get older, focused practice works better.

The oldest is self-sufficient. He’s also been raised as the oldest, and he craves attention. The middle is old enough to really play now, and not old enough to be left on his own unless he’s with his brother. That turns into a disaster in and of itself when they start fighting in front of other members at a quiet country club. I could care less.

When I have all three, it’s this: how does the oldest get better while the middle tags along and the little one feels like she’s being paid attention to. They all have different windows. Then they’re all set and they want a Coca-Cola and a slice of pizza or candy or whatever else walks through their head on the way to the clubhouse.

The oldest can put in a good forty-five minutes to an hour and a half, depending on how engaged I am. If I have games set up for him, we’ll go a long time on days he wants to do it. Without games, if I leave him to himself, it depends. That’s the part to keep fun. I’ve had a game hold him for thirty minutes. The next day he’s already a master of it in his eyes and says he’s the best. Lol.

The middle one: whatever you can do to get him to hit more balls makes him better. It’s just contact. The little one: literally anything you can get her to do is a win before you go play. Or you offer up an Uncrustable.

Making it a family thing to go to the golf course — I can’t think of a better way to spend the time. You’re there with your wife, who you hopefully like, and the kids, all in one place, doing a sport they like, with nobody else. For better or worse. There are days where attitudes get involved and it gets rough. Most of the time it’s smooth sailing. Just keep them fed.

On days like this we’ll usually do 18. The oldest picks a tee he wants that day. One of our courses has a few options. For his age he can probably play one of the four that actually fit him. Sometimes I can get him far enough back that it’s a real match with the younger one on RightStart — or the furthest-forward Longleaf tee. Play the short tees and don’t score well — angry. Play the longest tees he can play — frustration. They’re all rated. We’ve been doing that to see how we’re really doing outside of tournaments.

One of our courses won’t let a kid under 12 on before 3:30 on weekends or holidays. Dumbest rule I’ve ever heard. Even with a handicap it’s a no-go unless it’s under a 7.0 Index. Most of the tees he plays from, at his distance, he’s his course rating plus 2 to plus 5. He hasn’t hit that actual 7.0 Handicap Index yet. He talks about it all the time. I think it’s important to give them something to strive for instead of just playing. It’s still fun. It can add frustration. It gives them some pressure.

This was a day he felt it. He got himself to 4 under at one point. Then he “collapsed” and finished with a 71. One under. Lowered the handicap a decent amount. Not as much as it would have if he’d brought it home. The back nine is way longer than the front. Four hours on the course with all your siblings, mom, and dad is taxing in and of itself.

Anytime we can spot it — put a little pressure on a shot in hour three while he’s still having fun running around with his siblings, mom and dad — that’s a win. Most people playing golf with their family are just messing around. He’s sitting over it. It matters to him.

During these rounds the main piece is the little ones. How do we last four hours with the whole family and everyone enjoys it. The middle is usually good for 11–15 holes. When he’s tired we just have him sit some holes out. Chill. Snack. Water. Whatever he wants. He always comes back. I don’t care how many holes he makes it. Just buzzing around in the cart. The little one: whatever she wants to do, she can do. Avoid the holes with false fronts where the ball rolls out fifty yards and there are seven bunkers around it. You’re just trying to get them to know family golf — night, day, holiday, whatever.

It’s always crazy to me. Maybe I’m crazy. I’ll be there with my entire family. I played. They played. My wife played. And I see all my friends out there without their kids. They all have kids the same age-ish. They’re nowhere to be seen. They’ll literally post 80 to 100 on GHIN all year and I still haven’t met their kids. I see the dads’ kids once a month. It’s so weird to me they don’t share that. Being at the club and the golf course with your family. So you can raise them to talk to adults like adults even when they’re little. Enjoy golf. Maybe really, really exceed at it.

The upside to hockey is beer league at 30 or 40 — even if you make it. The upside to the NFL is some money, and you don’t really play again. Basketball you can still play. Golf is a lifetime sport. Why would you not share it with your family and instill all the things you get from being at a club. Not to mention the pool, pickleball, tennis, camps, events.

Keep them fed. Family golf.